Teen Dating Violence: The Do’s and Don’ts of Breaking Up

I’m sure many of you have seen the car insurance add on TV recently with the school dance going on in the background, right? Remember the song that was being played? It was called “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do” and it was originally sung by Neil Sedaka back in the 60’s.

Why do I mention it? Because that song title is true. Breaking up IS hard to do. Breaking up with your car insurance might be easy because someone else can do it for you these days, but when you’re breaking up with another person, someone you might have even loved at some point in time, there is no one else who can do it for you. So, knowing this, how can you make it easier? Well, the Melrose Alliance Against Violence (www.maav.org) has a list of do’s and don’ts for breaking up that you might find useful for yourself or for passing on to a friend in a tough situation.


-Explain the reason, if you can

-Be respectful


Find ways to take care of your feelings. For example:

-Keep a journal

-Talk to friends

-Exercise and/or play sports

-Listen to music

-Seek counceling

It might be easier to break up if you can agree on the following things:

-Will you still hang out together?

-Can you still call each other?

-Do BOTH of you still want to be friends? If you BOTH agree: In what ways will you both be friends? And how are you going to handle things with friends who know you both?



-Have sex one last time

-Follow the person to see who they are going out with

-Call, unless you’ve BOTH agreed this is okay

-Call the person names or spread rumors about them

-Isolate your self from friends and family

-Assume being friends means you’ll get back together

-Try to get the person pregnant

-Try to give the person an STD

Break up to:

-Scare the person to do things your way

-Get even

For more information about Teen Dating Violence and what you can do about it, check out the Melrose Alliance Against Violence website: www.maav.org.